


War Stories of My Own

by lls_mutant



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003), Firefly
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2014-08-29
Packaged: 2018-02-14 01:56:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2173692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lls_mutant/pseuds/lls_mutant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When <i>Serenity</i> happens across the Fleet, the people on <i>Galactica</i> are just happy to get a few more human hands in the fight against the Cylons, and proof that another civilization is out there.  Thing is, being in a situation where it's the pilots that fight is a whole new situation for Wash, and he's not so sure he likes it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	War Stories of My Own

**Author's Note:**

  * For [skieswideopen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skieswideopen/gifts).



The control was in his grasp and the Viper responded almost to his thoughts. Wash soared through the blackness of space with the thrill of riding a roller coaster and the comfort of being home. The Viper was small and fleet in a way that _Serenity_ 's shuttles could never be, and the sense of freedom as the stars ranged out around him was intense.

"Goose, this is _Galactica_. Get on back here."

"I'm coming." Wash turned the Viper reluctantly, facing the hulk of a ship that he'd come from. In his peripheral vision he spotted another Viper, and when he got close enough he could see Starbuck grinning at him. He grinned back.

"Not bad," Starbuck said when they'd docked and they were both climbing out of their ships. "A bit crazy, but I can't complain about that. Next time, we'll start you shooting in that thing." She thumped his helmet. "We'll make a soldier out of you yet."

"Right," Wash said, trying to laugh. "A soldier." 

Great. Just what he'd always wanted to be.

***

"How'd it go?" Zoë asked when he made his way to their bunk that night. "Heard tell you've managed to impress some people."

"Yeah?" Wash shrugged and sat down on the bed. "Guess it went okay." He pulled off his boots, trying to control his face.

"'Okay'?" Zoë got to her knees and came over to rub his back. "Come on. Tell me the truth." It wasn't wheedling so much as an order, and Wash grinned.

"You're right. It was amazing," he said. "Those Vipers? They're like nothing I ever flew before. They're even better than the Xióngyīng fighter jets that people were flying during the war. I got a chance to fly one of those babies, but they didn't handle anything like this."

Zoë laughed. "So there's a bright side to all this?"

"I don't know if I'd call it a bright side, but… yes." Wash lay back on the bed, crossing his arms behind his head. "How was your day?"

"Oh, you know. Same old apocalyptic fun." Zoë stretched out beside him. "The Marines are still after me."

Wash glanced over at her. "I'm surprised you aren't going for it."

"Mmm. I have my reasons."

"And those are…?"

Zoë shrugged. "Just don't seem like there's much to do in the Marines right now, huddling in a space ship."

"Yeah, but they fire the cannons and stuff. Hell, _Jayne's_ joined up."

"Jayne just wants to blow things up." Zoë propped herself up on her elbow to look down at Wash, and she looked a little stern. "That's not what serving is about."

"True, but I thought you had a thing for exploding things yourself. Especially since it seems like this one is cut and dried. Mal's serving," he added, a bit cautiously.

Zoë pulled back. "Oh, you're not starting that one again, Sugar Lips."

"No! No, of course not!" Wash lied hastily. "I'm just saying that these people are fighting a bunch of genocidal robots that want to blow them all up. There's a pretty clear right side here, and they're it. And it just seems strange that you aren't raring to go in the Marines, and I'd wish you'd tell me why not. I mean, it's got to be a big reason for you not to be jumping into this fight."

"Twelve planets united under Colonial rule don't sound a bit familiar to you?"

"Nice try," Wash said. "That Colonial rule is gone, and now it's just fifty thousand scared people. You can't tell me you aren't seeing that. I know you."

Zoë's face softened, and she laid her hand over his stomach. "I just ain't so sure it's the best idea for me." Her voice was too casual, but at the same time, there was a note of steel in it. She didn't want to tell him yet. 

"Yeah, well. It's your decision," Wash said, capitulating.

"Damn straight." She slid her hand under his shirt. "So. Are we going to celebrate you moving to combat training?"

He wasn't sure that there was really that much to celebrate, but Zoë was making her wishes clear and Wash had no desire to disobey them. He pulled her into his arms, and that was the one thing better than flying could ever be.

And afterwards, he lay awake, the stars still embedded in his mind.

***

Finding the Fleet and _Galactica_ had been an accident, and one that Wash still didn't fully understand. One moment they'd been on the edge of the Rim, running from the hell that was Miranda, and the next moment they'd been sucked into some sort of wormhole. Wash had heard tell about them, but truth be told he'd always assumed they were some sort of myth, or just a theoretical possibility. The wormhole had dumped them out in view of a massive Fleet of ships, which had immediately pulled them in for questioning.

It had taken a while to realize that they were far from the universe they'd known. It had taken even longer to get the people they'd met to believe they weren't Cylons, something that hadn't been helped by Jayne insisting that he wasn't sure that Simon wasn't a robot. But once the Colonials had been convinced that the crew of _Serenity_ really were humans, their arrival was then met with a great deal of excitement. After the horror of twenty billion people killed in a nuclear holocaust (Wash couldn't even begin to wrap his mind about that), _Serenity_ represented hope that a civilization was out there, ready to absorb the survivors. Now all they had to do was find it again.

All in all, the crew of _Galactica_ seemed perfectly happy to have them here. Mal, Jayne, and Zoë all had fighting experience, and Wash was a pilot. Simon had been snatched up by the infirmary and was happier than Wash had ever seen him. Not only was he helping people, but he wasn't on the run and was able to treat River, who seemed more stable. Kaylee was happily messing about with engines all day, and Inara had gotten into… well, Wash wasn't sure what she was doing, but he suspected the "ambassador" label that Mal had always given her might actually be true. So from _Galactica_ 's perspective, they'd gained nine people with useful skills, who really didn't eat much and might know the way to an end civilization. 

_Serenity_ 's crew was not so impressed with the reverse situation. _Serenity_ didn't use the same fuel as the ships in the Fleet, and it didn't have a faster-than-light engine, so the ship found a temporary home on one of _Galactica_ 's docking bays, essentially grounding her. They all felt tethered, and the combination of a group of people on the brink of extinction, miserable conditions, and being chased by genocidal robots all made for a dismal atmosphere. But none of them had been able to figure out how to get home any other way, and _Galactica_ and her Fleet were their only chance of survival. So like it or not, _Serenity_ was a part of the Fleet.

So say we all.

***

"You know," Wash said as he sat beside Kaylee on his Viper, watching the Marines run a drill on the landing bay, "it is really, really strange to see Jayne following orders."

"Even stranger to see the Captain almost at the same rank as him," Kaylee said. She bit into a protein bar and made a face at the taste. 

"Yeah. It's been making Jayne a bit insufferable." Wash was about to say something when he looked up and caught Zoë standing on the catwalk above, leaning on the railing and looking down at the Marines. She was at a distance, but Wash could see the wistfulness in her face. 

"Why ain't Zoë out there?" Kaylee asked, as if she could read Wash's mind. "I'd think she'd be a better recruit than Jayne."

"Don't know," Wash admitted. 

"Maybe she needs a break," Kaylee said with a shrug. "I think Haven and Miranda messed everybody up pretty hard."

"Yeah, but to make Zoë _not_ want to fight?"

"Mmm. Well, she will when she's ready. Oh, look! I think Jayne's about to get into an argument with his drill sergeant!" Kaylee leaned forward eagerly.

"Bet you a bottle of your engine juice that Jayne decks him."

"Nah. Captain'll stop him."

Five minutes later, Wash was the proud owner of a new bottle. He automatically glanced up towards where Zoë was standing, but she wasn't there. His smile slipped a notch. He didn't understand this at all.

***

"You missed some pretty good entertainment down on the deck today," he told her later as they sat down to dinner, just the two of them.

"So I hear." Zoë flashed a brief smile, but went back to her thoughts, picking at her food. 

"You okay?" Wash leaned in, concerned.

"Fine. Just tired." Zoë laughed, sounding a little bitter. "Didn't know doing nothing would be so exhausting."

"You could join-"

"I ain't going to."

Wash raised his eyebrows. "Well, that was a direct answer to the question for once. Are we finally going to talk about this?"

"We've been talking about it." She picked up her dishes and carried them over to the sink.

"No, I've been asking you questions and you've been evading them," Wash explained. "This is the first time you're giving a definitive answer. What's changed?"

"My mind."

"Good. Good! So you going to let me in on this thought process?"

"Not yet." Zoë didn't look at him. Wash took a deep breath, and then another one, biting down on the question that rose most naturally, which was if she was going to tell _anyone else_. 

"So this whole new non-violence attitude. Is that going to last when we get home?"

"If we get home," Zoë interrupted.

"If we get home. You going to let the Alliance get away with Miranda?"

"Never said it was a non-violence thing. And that depends."

"On what?" 

"If we get home." Zoë's face was steely, and Wash could see this argument was about to take a very bad direction. Normally he wouldn't worry about that, but when the Fleet was under attack so much, Wash found he didn't really want to go to bed with an argument still hanging in the air. Not in a life like this.

"Why?" he finally asked. "Just answer me that. Why won't you tell me?"

"Because the time isn't right." Zoë put a hand on his for a moment. "When it is, I'll tell you."

"Promise?"

"I promise." Her eyes were warm, and Wash believed her completely. 

"Okay, then."

Zoë leaned down and kissed him softly. "I'm going to bed."

"I'll be there a little later." She nodded and left, leaving him alone in the kitchen. He watched her go, then sighed and did his best to force his mind away from the subject. Zoë would tell him when she was ready- she always had, and she always would. Wash knew he was able to wait.

***

"All right," Starbuck's voice was clear in Wash's ear. "Let's see what you can do with that asteroid. You ready?"

"Ready." Wash gripped the controls, his nerves on alert and his body relaxed, at ease. The Viper was a part of him, and he was a part of it. Leaf on the wind. He soared towards the asteroid, following Starbuck's directions and firing when ordered.

"Not bad," Starbuck said, sounding pleased as they completed their first pass. "You ready for round two?"

"Any time you are."

It got easier and easier, but a little part of Wash whispered that they were only shooting rocks. How would it be when they were shooting Cylons? He wasn't sure. Starbuck, on the other hand, seemed delighted. "Finally. A nugget I don't have to tear to pieces. You've got no idea what I've had to suffer." Her voice was light and happy. "Let's get back in."

"Roger that." Wash followed her in. "Hey, Kara?"

"Yeah?"

"The Cylons. Do you _see_ them when you're fighting raiders?"

Starbuck snorted. "Not likely. And most of the raiders are these weird robot ships anyway. Trust me, they’re easy to hit. They make some pretty sparks when they blow, too."

"If you say so."

"You'll see. I think you're going to be seeing some combat soon. Ready to land?"

"Ready." Wash's mouth had gone rather dry all of a sudden. "Combat, huh?"

"You have been aware that the Cylons keep finding us?"

"Uh, yeah. It's just…."

"Don't worry," Starbuck scoffed. "The worst that can happen is you'll die."

Wash laughed. "Right. Dying." His stomach lurched unpleasantly. "I'd really rather not die if I can help it."

"Wouldn't we all. Get your ass in there, Goose, we haven't got all day to sit around talking out here."

"Right." Wash was relieved to focus on landing. Because suddenly it hit him, and he wasn't so sure he wanted to be in combat at all.

***

"Oh you'll be fine," Mal said, as they sat around _Serenity_ 's kitchen table and Mal cleaned his gun. "A little shooting, a lot of loud noises-"

"Not in space," Kaylee corrected. "Space ain't much for the big booms."

"Well, you know what I mean." Mal waved it off. "The first time out is kind of crazy, but it ain't really your first time out. We've been under worse threats."

"That's what I keep telling myself," Wash said. "Somehow, it doesn't help. Not when I'm going to have a metric ton of Cylons bearing down on me, intent on annihilating me."

"You can't think like that," Jayne said. "You gotta think only about killing. You start thinking about being killed and you'll freeze up."

Mal stared at Jayne for a minute, then turned to Wash. "Amazes me to say it, but Jayne's right. You've got to focus on what you're there to do, not what they want. Otherwise you're going to be a sitting duck."

Wash nodded. He looked at Zoë, who had been quiet. "Any advice from you?"

"Don't die," Zoë said shortly. She stood up. "I'm going to bed."

Jayne leered and Mal raised an eyebrow, but something about Zoë's voice made Wash stand up. "I'd better say good night, too. Got a big day of possibly killing tomorrow." He ducked out of the kitchen, catching up with Zoë right before she closed the hatch to their bunk. 

"Really? 'Don't die'? That's your advice?"

"The fact it's short don't make it not true."

"I never said it did, but I could really use a little help here. I'm headed out there into combat, and I'm just a little nervous. You've done this. You're good at it. Help me out."

"I've done this?" Zoë turned back around to face him. "No I haven't."

"Sure you have. I've heard all the stories. All the good times with the shooting and the being shot at… this is your thing."

"Being out there and being shot at is my thing. Sitting on the sidelines ain't." She turned away.

"So join the Marines! You don't want to sit on the sidelines, go fire the guns! I'm not the one stopping you!"

"That's not the subject right now. I'm talking about you being out there."

"You don't think I can handle it?" Wash asked caustically.

"I didn't say that!" Zoë almost threw up her hands in exasperation. "It's you out there in war, Wash. That's not how this is supposed to work."

"So it's okay for you to go out and get shot at, but when I do it, it's not?"

"Exactly!"

"Look, when we're on land, I get that! I really do! But we aren't on land right now, and me flying isn't like me shooting with a gun. I'm damn good at this." 

"I didn't say you weren't. But it ain't necessarily our fight. What's one more pilot going to do?"

"What's one more soldier ever do? Look, if you don't want me to go, say it, but give me the reason. Tell me why! Tell me why you're running from a fight and why you don't want me out there!"

"I ain't running," Zoë said, lifting her chin. "And it's not being afraid."

"Then what is it?" 

"It's being pregnant."

That stopped Wash in his tracks. "Pregna- whoa. _Pregnant_?"

"Pregnant." Zoë stood straight, her shoulders stiff with defiance and her eyes serene.

" _Shén zhòumà duō_ , why didn't I know about this?" Wash sat down on the bed. "Zoë?"

Zoë sat down next to him. "Well, I started suspecting round the same time we went back to Haven. Didn't seem right to say much right after the Shepherd-"

"No," Wash interrupted, taking her hand and nodding. "It wouldn't."

"Then there was Miranda and sorting out everything here. I had one of their docs confirm it, and I wanted to tell you, but I wasn't so happy about it."

"About being pregnant?" Wash clarified. Zoë nodded. "Well, whyever not?"

Zoë shrugged. "You remember what you used to say about our circumstances not changing?"

"Yeah…." Wash definitely remembered that conversation, because it wasn't long after that he'd agreed to try for a child.

"Well, our circumstances changed," Zoë continued. "Our life before was one thing, but this is war. This- the Cylons- this is different. And I can't get out there because it ain't just my life on the line anymore. And I ain't aiming to lose you either, not right now."

"Look," Wash said, taking both her hands and feeling incredibly overwhelmed, "I'll be careful, okay? Believe me, dying isn't something that was on my to-do list anyway, and now… yeah. I'll be careful."

"You will be. That's an order, soldier." 

"Yes, sir."

***

"Action stations, action stations. Set Condition One throughout the Fleet. Action stations, action stations."

Wash stopped for a moment, frozen. "Well?" Jayne asked. "What are you waiting for? Get out there and blow _dàtiáo_ up. Come on." He grabbed the back of the tanks Wash now wore and hauled him to his feet. "Let's go." 

Wash turned. "Zoë-"

"Good luck." Zoë's smile was tight, but her eyes were warm. 

Wash's throat closed as he followed Jayne out of _Serenity_ and onto the deck. He was used to seeing the rush before a fight, but this was the first time he'd ever been in it. 

Starbuck spotted him from across the deck. "Come on, Goose! Move your ass! You should have been in your bird five minutes ago." Jayne shoved him, and Wash's body lurched into motion.

The nervousness mounted in his stomach as he pulled on his flight suit and helmet, and joined the others on deck. Starbuck was yelling out commands, but he barely heard her over the blood pounding in his ears. Somehow he made it to his Viper, and when he slid into the seat, he wondered if he would make it out alive. Kaylee helped him close up and he was in his tube, and he had to struggle to keep from throwing up. 

But when the Viper soared out of the launch tube, that serenity that flight brought him began to war with his nerves, and for a moment, Wash was free.

The feeling was immediately quenched by the sight of the battle in front of him. He'd wondered if he'd be able to kill, to destroy ships that contained life forms, but Starbuck had been right- when he saw the raiders, they looked so inhuman that it wasn't on his mind. He glided into position, and then began to engage. And when his first Raider went up in a shower of pyrotechnics, the triumph carried him through.

"Nice shot, Goose." Starbuck's voice in his ear was approving. "Now stay sharp, you've got another one coming at eight o'clock."

"I'm on it." And he was. His nerves were not gone completely and his heart was still in his mouth, but he could fly and he could think, and that was all he needed to do.

***

"You're back!" Kaylee's face lit up when the cockpit of Wash's Viper opened. He sat there for a moment, sore and sweaty, trying to catch his breath. "Well?" Kaylee prompted as she unhooked him. "How was it?"

"Crazy." That was the only word Wash could come up with. "Absolutely crazy."

"Zoë was on the flight deck the whole time," Kaylee said, pointing. "She was worried about you."

Wash pushed himself up and out of his Viper, and just as Kaylee had said, Zoë was waiting. Her smile was proud and her chin was high, but Wash could tell she was relieved. Or maybe he was just imagining it because he was so relieved. He hurried over and pulled her into his arms, burying his face in the crook of her neck and holding tight.

"You did good," Zoë said, her arms tight around him. "You came back."

Wash was able to pull away and smile. "Yeah. Although I think I like just flying better than fighting."

Zoë chuckled. "Bet you showed those Cylons some moves they haven't seen before."

Wash shrugged. "Truth be told, I've seen some pretty crazy flying in the Fleet." His heartbeat was returning to normal. "You okay?"

"Of course. You got some clean up to take care of?"

"Yeah. I'd better go through the post-flight checklist with Kaylee. And maybe get a shower."

"If you want to celebrate your first battle properly, I'd recommend it." She shoved him playfully. "Get going."

Wash saluted, and Zoë swatted him on the ass and rolled her eyes. He walked away, the realization that he had survived his first battle washing over him in a fresh wave. Maybe he could do this after all.

***

"Didja hear about this crazy-ass mission?" Jayne said, plopping down across from Wash when he and Zoë were eating dinner a few weeks later. "The one back to Caprica?"

Wash looked up from his food. "I heard."

"So? You going?"

Wash shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Because I- wait. Are _you_ going?" 

"You bet I am."

Zoë looked as surprised as Wash felt. "Why?"

Jayne shrugged. "Way I see it, Caprica's got a few things going for it. Might be some profit, and there'll probably be a fight. Either way, I call it a win-win."

"And the people down there?" Zoë asked. "Just an afterthought?"

"Well, that's why I assumed he'd go." Jayne jerked his thumb at Wash. "Soft-hearted _pìhuà_ like that, that's your area, not mine."

"So, I handle the compassion, you handle the fighting?" Wash asked, and Jayne nodded like Wash was stupid for not understanding this earlier. "Glad we compartmentalized that. Thank you for your concern, Jayne, but it was made pretty clear that this mission was volunteer only. Enough other people are going that I'm not so sure I want to risk it." 

"Well, you'll be missing one hell of a time. And if I bring back some shiny stuff, I ain't sharing."

"Didn't expect you would." Wash watched Jayne get up and leave with a sense of relief. Relief, and lingering guilt.

***

"Hey Mal. You hear about this Caprica mission?"

Mal was in the process of cleaning his guns. "Yeah, I heard. You going?"

"I don't know." Wash sat down next to Mal. "Sounds pretty risky."

"It does," Mal agreed. "But I'm fair sure that it's not gonna be a one way trip."

"Why not?"

"Don't make much sense to risk this many people if it is. Plus, I don't think the Cylons are expecting us there. Not when we're all the way out here."

"True." 

"Plus, I gotta say, I'm kinda curious to see this place. We've been fighting for these people for a couple of months now, but I can't say I can really understand what they've been through. Might be able to wrap my brain around it a little better going to this Caprica."

"Mmm."

"So why ain't you going?"

"Zoë's pregnant." The words came out in a rush.

Mal let out a long, low hiss of air. "That so?"

"Yeah."

"Huh."

Wash's temper began to rise. "You know, the proper response is usually congratulations."

Mal looked surprised. "You think I've got a problem with this?"

"Well, yeah. Don't you?"

Mal shrugged. "Well, yeah, maybe I do, but that's mainly because I think you're both _tāmāde_ nuts and I ain't really looking forward to having a crying baby on board and underfoot all the time. But can't say I didn't see the possibility coming, and right now we ain't exactly flying. For all I know, the kid could be ready to fly his or herself by the time we get back to any sort of civilization. But it explains why Zoë won't join the Marines."

"Yeah.

"So. This the reason you don't want to go to Caprica?" Wash nodded. "Can't say I right blame you."

"Right. So I have a good reason."

"If you want one, yeah. You've got one." 

Wash eyed Mal, trying to tell if Mal was doing that guilt thing or if he was expressing an honest opinion. "You're not going to be any help in this, are you?"

"In what?"

"Deciding if I should go to Caprica."

Mal shrugged. "It's a volunteer only mission. Choice is yours, and I ain't your commanding officer on this ship. You'll figure it out."

"Yeah. Thanks." Wash got up, feeling more conflicted than he had when he sat down.

***

"You sure you're okay with this?" Wash asked Zoë as he zipped up his flight suit.

"It's the right thing to do," Zoë said. She took a deep breath. "I don't like it any better than you do, but things are changing now, and you're a soldier."

"Zoë… I'm not a soldier. I'm just a guy fighting here."

Zoë put both hands on his shoulders. "You're a soldier now. And you're going to get these people home." She kissed him on the lips. "Come back to us."

"I will."

***

They were more than just successful when they returned- they were heroes. At least for a day, to this group of bedraggled people who had been living an even more miserable existence than the Fleet, they were heroes.

It was heady stuff.

"What was it like down there?" Kaylee asked them when they sat down.

"Didn't feel too bad, actually," Mal admitted. "Right pretty, where we were."

"Couldn't see any bodies," Jayne said, and it was hard to tell if he was disappointed or not. "Them skinjobs sure are creepy, though."

"How many people were you able to rescue?" Zoë asked.

"Forty-two. Not too bad for a day's work." Wash was feeling better and better about the risk he'd taken. He smiled at Zoë, fully expecting her proud smile back. But she looked far away.

"You couldn't've gone anyway," Mal said, noticing Zoë's expression as well. "Not with all that radiation down there."

"Why does that matter?" Jayne asked, then burped. "We all went."

"Yeah, but we ain't pregnant," Mal said. 

Kaylee gasped and clapped her hand over her mouth. "A baby?"

"Yes. _I_ was going to tell you all when we were all together, _sir_." Zoë cast a look of death at Mal. "But yes. I'm pregnant."

Kaylee squealed again and got up to hug Zoë. Jayne looked vaguely repulsed. "Does this mean there's gonna be diapers?"

"If you think I'm letting you near my baby's diaper, you've got another think coming," Zoë said lightly, accepting Kaylee's excited hug. "Ain't no power in the 'verse is gonna convince me that that's gonna end well."

Diapers. Something about that concept made the baby thing seem a little more real. Zoë was smiling now, a radiant glow about her. Wash met her eyes and smiled. This soldier thing, it was temporary, and something better was waiting for them at the end. 

***

A couple of pilots had made some calculation errors during the mission to Caprica, and found a habitable planet. Although the subject of settling on the planet was brought up, the fact that _Serenity_ had been proof of another thriving civilization was enough to dismiss the subject. However, President Roslin did declare that the Fleet would stop there for as much as a month, taking time to resupply and allowing people got get down to the ground.

It was during that time that Wash really got to know Hot Dog. Wash had hung out with Hot Dog many times- in fact, he was one of the pilots who insisted that the _Serenity_ crew needed to know Triad- but he'd always been a funny face who was around. Piloting a Raptor together as the Fleet hid from the Cylons on this planet gave him a chance to get to know Hot Dog better. Or vice versa.

"Why is your call sign Goose?"

was the first question Hot Dog asked him.

"Oh. That." Wash laughed. "When we got here, some of the others taught us Triad. They asked what we all did for fun, and I told them about a moon in our area where people juggle geese."

Hot Dog gawked back at him. "Juggle geese?"

"Real live geese. I'm serious." Wash shrugged. "You can see the connection from there."

Hot Dog laughed. "Yeah. So, did you ever do it?"

"I tried. It's hard to juggle when the goslings keep nipping at you though."

"I'll bet. That what waits for us when we find where you guys are from? Juggling geese?"

"It was only on a small moon. Even my own wife doesn't believe the story."

"Can't blame her," Hot Dog agreed. "So she's never been to that moon?"

"Nope. The 'verse is kind of a big place."

Hot Dog nodded. "I'm used to twelve planets. The idea of forty is just kind of hard to bend my head around."

"Well, that's what it is." Wash shrugged.

"You weren't military there, were you?" 

"No. Nope, not me."

"But wasn't there some big war?" Hot Dog asked, his brow screwing up in concentration. "Something about the Alliance?"

"There was." Wash took a deep breath. "I don't much like talking about it because of Zoë, of course, but the truth is I never cared much one way or the other who won. I mean, I'm not the biggest fan of the Alliance myself, but it never concerned me that much one way or another, you know?" He shrugged and sat back in the ECO's chair. "So I kind of waffled about taking a side or going into either service, and then, before I knew it, the war was over. I'm not overly happy about who won, but I don't think me joining up would have changed the outcome."

"Oh."

Wash shrugged. "You asked. My point is I'm not exactly much of a soldier. So this whole thing here, it's all kind of new to me."

"Yeah, same here," Hot Dog said. "I mean, I tried going through flight school and all that back on Libran, but I washed out. It wasn't the life for me."

"Really." Wash raised his eyebrows. "By all accounts, you're one of the better pilots in the Fleet."

"Well, yeah. _Now_. But now there's something to fight about, you know? I mean, the Cylons and everything. Back then it was a lot more complicated. Having all twelve worlds nuked kind of makes it easy to decide, you know?"

"Yeah, I do." Wash sighed. "You know, right before we got pulled here, we found this planet. One that the Alliance had tampered with. They'd given everybody some sort of drug to make them more obedient."

"Whoa. That's frakked up."

"Yeah. Thing is, it worked on some people, I guess. But it had the opposite effect on others. Made them crazy."

"I take it you don't mean like juggling geese crazy."

"No, I mean like cannibalism and rape crazy."

Hot Dog shuddered. "Ugh."

"Yeah. That's the government you guys are headed to, by the way."

"Well, it's better than robots blowing us all up, which was what we were getting here. Although I have a hard time believing the Cylons are really done following us." Hot Dog looked uncharacteristically serious. "You think that's real, what the brass said, about the Cylons not chasing us anymore?"

"Got me. If it's not, the Alliance isn't going to be too happy with us, bringing a bunch of genocidal robots to town."

Hot Dog shuddered. "Hope the brass is right on this one."

"Yeah. Me, too." Wash didn't really want to think about it. But it didn't matter quite yet, because they had to find where they were going first, and after several months of searching, he was beginning to wonder if they would.

***

"So how was the planet?" Wash asked when Zoë came back up from a run down.

"Not bad. Kind of reminds me of St. Albans."

"Ergh."

"But on the other hand, ain't no feds here. Guess that's something."

Wash was sitting on the bed, watching Zoë move about the room. Her stomach was beginning to swell and every now and then she'd lay a hand on it, without really thinking about what she was doing. But she was restless and irritated. "You okay?" Wash asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Zoë said with a brief smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Got to stand on real ground today. That's something."

"Yeah. It would be."

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing." Wash waved his hand. "Just something Hot Dog said today."

"Do I even want to know?" Zoë chuckled. 

"Probably not. But it was serious."

"Didn't know Hot Dog was capable of being serious."

"Yeah, it sort of goes up there with Jayne actually thinking. But we got talking about finding home again, and I just keep thinking we should have found it already. That _I_ should have found it already."

"We're getting closer," Zoë reassured him. "We'll make it. Especially now that the Cylons ain't chasing us."

"Right. And what happens then? When we get back?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we still have all the stuff with Miranda. And with the baby-"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, all right? We've gotta get home, first." 

"And if we don't?"

Zoë just smiled. "We will."

***

"Lieutenant Washburn. May I speak with you for a moment?"

It took Wash a moment to realize someone was talking to him, because hardly anyone ever used his rank, and especially not when he was lounging in the bridge on _Serenity_. But Lieutenant Gaeta was standing there, some papers clutched in his hand. "Sure. What can I do for you?" He gestured to the other seat. Gaeta didn't sit.

"I needed a second opinion on these star charts." He put them down in front of Wash. "I'm almost certain I'm reading them right, but I need to be sure."

Wash picked them up. "This is where we are now?" he asked. Gaeta nodded, and Wash examined them closer. A chill washed over him as realization set in. He looked up sharply. "You're sure?"

"I'm sure. We're there, aren't we?" 

" _Zhànzhemáokēngbùlāshǐ_ ," Wash muttered, running his hand over his hair in amazement. "Yeah. As far as I can tell, those are constellations you can see from the Rim planets around Kalidasa. We got a bit more to go, but it won't be more than a jump or two."

Gaeta smiled. "That's what I thought. I just wanted to be sure wishful thinking wasn't biasing the results. Thank you, Lieutenant." He snapped off a salute. 

Wash sat back in his chair, too stunned to salute back.

***

"So what happens now?" Zoë asked as the crew all sat around the table, Mal standing at the head. "Where do we go from here, sir?"

"Well, we got some choices. We can go back to our normal business, trade and carrying passengers. We can go after the Alliance now that we know about Miranda, cause that should be exposed. Or we can help some of these folks get settled in different places."

"What about the Fleet?" Wash asked. "Are they going to the Alliance?"

"I had a long conversation about that with the Admiral and the President. They're not much for alerting the Alliance that we're here. And there ain't so many people the Alliance will even know. Problem is the ships. Not sure that the Alliance getting their hands on that kind of technology would be a good thing." Wash was not the only one who shuddered at that thought. "But at the same time," Mal continued, "not sure that Adama and Roslin are willing to sacrifice them. It's not gonna be an easy decision."

"On the bright side, the Alliance must think we're dead," Zoë said hopefully. "After us being gone so long?"

"That's true. So that gives us some freedom to move about a bit. But they might figure it out, and then there's still the matter of Simon and River." Mal nodded toward them. "We've been away a good seven months, but we've made an awful lot of enemies, and a lot of people ain't gonna be happy if they figure out we're back. On the other hand, we've got some other responsibilities coming up, too." He nodded at Zoë, who smiled back. "Bringing the Alliance down on us might be a bit trickier than before."

"We'll manage, sir."

Mal leaned back. "Yeah. I know we will. So the way I'm figuring, is we do spend the next few months helping some people settle in. We need us some more contacts, and best way to do that is make 'em ourselves. There's some folk from _Galactica_ who are like to be helpful. And then… we'll see what we can do. But I'll tell you one thing, just because we've had this little side trip don't mean I've forgotten what we've seen. The Alliance ain't walking away from it this time." His face was set. "You all can make your own choice, but I know what I'm doing."

And Wash felt that familiar dryness in his mouth again, because when Zoë took his hand, he knew what they were doing too.

**Author's Note:**

> To my recipient- sorry the BSG characters were so quiet. I know you wanted more of an interaction, and I did too, but I just could not get them going, because the storyline ended up so internal and focused on Wash and Zoe. I hope you enjoyed this anyway, and thanks for some fun prompts!


End file.
